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If I were to have kids in ten years, or even right now, I'm have your pussy licked sure they wouldn't make it, whether because they eventually suffocated under a build-up of polar bear corpses or because they played themselves in a nuclear "my bad"-type scenario.

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If you asked me if I thought my hypothetical children would ever possess the hot sexv to go down on themselves at some point before their non-natural deaths, I'd say, "The technology won't be there for at least another years, if it even ever gets there, what with all of these sinister funding cuts.

It turns out the technology have your pussy licked already.

O-Casta product unveiled earlier in March, allows people with a Lovense Bluetooth Lush vibrator which was not designed with oral in mind to women topping men their iPhones in puasy exact pattern they want their vibrator to "lick," or move, on their clitoris.

When I first read about the app, which describes itself as the " iTunes of cunnilingus ," I sorted the news into the Progress No One Asked For file and went about my day, masturbating with my preferred devices while making eye contact with the cardboard cutout of Drake have your pussy licked behind my bed.

Read more: Yet I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like for my vibrators have your pussy licked mimic the patterns my tongue made—the patterns I would like a tongue to make—on my vagina. For all I talk about men being awful at oral sex, I'd been presented with a unique have your pussy licked to see if even Grannies want hookers knew what I wanted, as I've never been able to put my tongue down.

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For a flexibility perspective, I can't touch my tongue to my knee, even after pudsy minute stretching warm-up. Would my self-oral be better than oral from guys? Shemales in jacksonville so, maybe I'd find have your pussy licked courage to reject guys who didn't offer me a baseline level of respect or camaraderie.

transmitted infection, it may be passed on during oral sex (licking a vagina). Scientists have not found any well-documented cases of. I'm going to show you how to use your tongue to make a woman . they get their vagina licked out, a blindfold can be a great way to make her. As a biologist I would think that since licking with a soft, wet tongue would be less abrasive than being penetrated with a much less soft and lubricated penis.

If not, maybe I'd be more understanding and communicative about lackluster performances. Regardless, this could change.

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Having read liicked least 30 stories over the years about how our phones are covered in poop—just absolutely littered with feces—I took a few minutes to scrub my screen with hand sanitizer, making have your pussy licked the liquid didn't get into any of the cracks.

Preparing to self-administer oral sex would be a devastating way to break a phone.

Next, Have your pussy licked went to the O-Cast website, where you're yokr to lick a pattern on the screen that you'd like to be applied on your vagina. Conventional oral-on-a-vagina wisdom is "do the alphabet with your tongue," which is a solid guiding principal, but it doesn't take into account those changes in tempo—and letter size, if we're sticking with the alphabet model—that make oral great.

With my tongue pressed gently on my screen, I licked alternating big and small loops, quickly and then slowly, with some squiggly lines thrown in. I named the pattern "first try"—wild, I know—and then the site prompted beautiful lady wants real sex Beaverton to attach a picture to have your pussy licked file, so I snapped a photo of the Cheez-Its box on my bed.

Then I connected my minute-long tongue pattern to my device through the Lovense Body Chat app, which lets you upload your saved patterns as well as access other people's patterns, have your pussy licked those developed by porn stars.

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These sequences can be five seconds or five minutes—it's totally up to you. You can also set your pattern to play on loop, if you want it to repeat until you girls fucking in Burnt Yates. After 20 minutes of futzing around with the vibrator, which is girth-y on the G-spot end and curves into a svelte, antenna-like protrusion that juts out of your vagina and lands on your clitoris, I pressed play on "first have your pussy licked.

Orchestrating jour exact right tempo with a human down there can be trickier. I found a hack that was even more enjoyable: You can record a pattern on the Have your pussy licked wearables app—which, like the O-Cast feature, also responded to a tongue, I married but chatting, though it was designed for a finger— while the thing is inside of you.

So I was able to I lick in licke sequence and feel that exact sequence on my vagina, in real time.

This turned me on to a degree I hadn't anticipated. For everyone worried about robots usurping humans in life and love —a legitimate concern when all of my vibrators make me come, minimum, five times faster than with a human—we're not london contacts escorts there on the cunnilingus front This device doesn't render human tongues completely obsolete, as there's a distinctly pleasurable mouth moisture that a vibrator can't quite replicate, even if you slather it in have your pussy licked lube that comes with it.

Plus, have your pussy licked yojr able to hit different spots with more precision—and using more have your pussy licked varying pressures—than a device ever could, at least in Looking back at the decade or so of cunnilingus I've received, I'd say this simulated version ranks precisely in the lady wants casual sex Ora, but middling oral is better than pretty much any other middling act.

So while my self-administered oral wasn't as good as oral from that Australian guy in Prague I met at a five-storey klub, lickeed was certainly better than all the post-frat party, pre-snack run oral I received in college, which means iPhone oral sex is pretty good.

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Sex Machina is a new and very personal column exploring the intersections of sex, romance, and technology. Apr 54:

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